Not the horse I wanted but the horse I needed

"Every rider comes across several horses in its life, and every horse leaves its own little print in the rider's heart. Every story is different but here's our story.

This is Ayuni, our paths crossed on the 16th of May 2019. I was heartbroken at that time and I felt like nothing could ever cheer me up again after seeing my soul horse being sold. My trainer and I were looking for a new horse but none of the horses I tried felt right. My trainer saw something special in Ayuni and decided that she was the horse I needed.

That's how, a week later, I had a new horse in my hands. Our beginnings were hard messy and chaotic. I refused to like her and try to understand her. I felt bad, I knew she was an amazing horse and she deserved a rider that could bring out the best of her but that rider wasn't me.

Ayuni was out of shape, she was just getting back to work after an 8 months break due to an injury. She kept knocking down poles and I was mad.

Our first show came a few weeks later and I had never jumped a course with her. I had absolutely no control and everything was a mess but, for the first time in a long time, I was able to finish a course and that felt good.

Time passed and she started to grow on me. I didn't want to admit it but she gave me a feeling of safety. I felt good to ride a horse that wouldn't let me down.

In October we had our first clear rounds and starting with that point we started getting more and more clear rounds on 1m but we were getting eliminated in every 1m10 course because we were knocking too many poles down.

During the winter we had an incredible glow-up. We were more than ready to begin a new show season but then this whole coronavirus mess started and then the general lockdown on the whole country.

After the lockdown, we started competing again. It was the best show season of my life. We were having many 1m clear rounds and pretty decent and even great 1m10 courses. We even got to compete in a 1m15 show.

I finally admitted I like Ayuni and we started having a real bond and that was really visible in our courses.

At the end of the summer, I went on a vacation to France to see my grandparents and when I came back I went to a show. Little did I know it was about to be our last show.

Unfortunately, I had to leave Romania and go back to France for school.

Now it's time for me to say goodbye to Ayuni and let her shine with another rider that she will help just like she helped me.

Thank you so much Ayuni for giving me the confidence I needed to jump and make me the rider I am today, for being my little Instagram model but mostly for never letting me down,

She was not the horse I wanted, she was the horse I needed."

This text was not meant to be posted, I wrote it one night when I was exhausted and I needed to express myself and write. I was a project idea in my mind of an edited video and I thought this text would work best but I wanted to say it not just write it and that was a huge no in my mind because I was too shy to actually talk.

I showed the text to my closest friends and they encouraged me to continue my project so I edited the video but it took me more than a week to decide what I want to do with it until one night (all my ideas seem to come at night when I'm exhausted xD) when I decided to open my editing program and just give it a try.

Voice overs were something new for me so after repeating the first paragraph five times I decided to just let go and talk. I was reading my text and I was getting do emotional while doing it but it's exactly what I was looking for. I know I left some mistakes in my speech and I thought about correcting them but I eventually decided that I want to leave it this way because it was spoken from the bottom of my heart and I didn't want to make it "fake"

I posted it on Instagram and on youtube and all the appreciation and feedback I got really moved me. The people I was expecting the least complimented me about my work and said it was very emotional and honestly I couldn't be prouder.

Now back to Ayuni, Her new rider is currently leasing her but she will most probably end up eventually buying her. I will keep riding her from time to time when I go and visit on vacation but I know she is very happy, loved, and spoiled now and I couldn't have found a better rider for her.

My story with Ayuni is very special to me because she came when I was at my lowest and she had the patience to stand me while I was slowly getting back up without letting me down even once.

Here's the link to my youtube video https://youtu.be/n7qwrO2oSyY

Ilo <3